Being OK with your Debt

I felt ashamed and embarrassed of the fact that I was in credit card debt for a long time. I hired a financial advisor right before I quit my job (unbeknownst to me at the time) and he provided me with a blueprint on paying off my debt.

He encouraged me to take out a 401k loan to cover my interest-bearing credit card balances and then pay myself back over the course of 2-3 years.

With this guidance, he also offered a word of caution.

“If you don’t change your spending habits, you will find yourself in this exact same spot down the line.”

I took out the loan, paid off my credit cards and went about my life.

Then, less than 2 months later, I quit my job, moved in with my Dad, and found a new job I hated that paid me significantly less money. I started using my credit cards again to buy things to offset how empty I felt inside. I incurred a new balance of nearly the exact same amount less than one year later. 

Everything in my life had changed except my mindset, particularly in the realm of how I felt about money, which is why I kept finding myself at the same debt set point time after time.

When I started to work on my money mindset, I came face to face with my debt and lowered my tolerance for how much debt I was willing to accept in my reality.

Kathrin Zenkina, in her financial coaching course Rich Babe Academy, helped me to look at my debt differently. “Debt is simply the leveraging of future resources to bridge you between where you are at and where you want to be. It was the creditor’s decision to lend you the money in the first place.”

This helped shape my perspective, because I had previously put all the blame on myself and felt so incredibly irresponsible. You will never be able to pay off your debt by feeling ashamed of it, and in fact, this actually just perpetuates more of it.

I am by no means perfect now, and I still spend money on things I later regret from time to time, but those purchases are pale in comparison to what they were in the past. I choose to focus now on my progress instead of my mistakes, and that propels me forward into a better financial position with each day that passes.

Debt taught me how to value and respect my money, and as I started to look at it this way, I started to value and respect myself a lot more.

 I stopped spending all my money on clothes and moved in with a roommate instead of bearing the burden of living alone. I started to feel worthy and valuable, so I attracted jobs and opportunities that treated me as a worthy and valuable employee.  Money began to flow into my life faster than it ever had before, and I watched as my debt continued to shrink.

Coming to terms with my debt and paying it off turned out to be a very similar process. I forgave myself for my past financial indiscretions and they started to melt away with every passing month. 

I wouldn’t be in the position I am today had it not been for my credit card debt, and while I suggest living in a credit card debt free reality, don’t beat yourself up too much if you aren’t quite there yet. 

xoxo,