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Hi!
I was upstairs attempting to sleep a few minutes ago (at the time of writing, it was 10:53pm on Sunday night) but I couldn’t sleep.
I felt jittery, and maybe even a little excited for what’s to come next in my life. I felt inspired to write. I can't remember the last time I felt this way.
I was thinking about the Fall planner, the artwork I want to include, when I need to pick it up from the printer for it to be ready for my photoshoot, wondering if it’s irresponsible to do a photoshoot because my primary funding source has been cut. Then I thought about my Japanese gel nails and how much I love them. How powerful and strong I feel with my long nails and how I need to get them redone with a fall color before the shoot.
But I digress.
I got the dreaded calendar invite from my manager and HR on Tuesday last week. I had peeked at my calendar the night before, as I advise people to do when planning out their weeks, so I kind of knew. But you can never be too sure about these things.
I slept poorly, consulted my support system and then prepared myself for battle at 12:30pm.
By 12:32pm it was all over, and I had said one word.
“Ok.”
I simply waved goodbye with a hand gesture at the end of the call.
Then, I made an appointment for acupuncture. And went back to working on my watercolors I had hidden during the call.
If you’re wondering how I felt, the answer is overwhelmingly… Ok.
If you’ve been following along on my journey for awhile, you may be familiar with the origin story of my brand. It was a concept that came to me after quitting my job in Chicago. I genuinely believed I was going to conquer the world. But instead, I fell flat on my face and landed in Waxhaw, North Carolina. It took me a full year to bounce back from the pain of that at the time perceived failure, but I did. I’m stronger because of it.
The pain of that situation was what prevented me from quitting this job before it came to this. It’s what still holds me back when I talk to colleagues within the Tech Industry who ask me what comes next.
The truth is I know exactly what I want to do with my life, I’m just not quite ready for the world to poke holes in it yet. So I hide behind I’m not sures and I don’t knows and seemingly change the subject to my Fall Planner. Except that’s me not changing the subject.
I desire a life built on passion, and purpose. I want to make the world a better place through my planners, programs and coaching.
In short? This was the push I needed to go after my dreams.
Am I scared? Kind of.
Do I want to water down this email in case I do decide to take another job in 6 weeks? Kind of.
Aren't the best dreams the ones that scare you?
Here’s to the start of an amazing adventure.
Journal Prompts
1) Where in your life are you currently being held back by fear? Be honest with yourself and simply observe your responses
2) What would it be like to let go of the fear surrounding these situations and to simply trust it was all going to work out? Would that change anything?
3) Can you think of a time in the past where things seemingly went wrong but it ended up being in a way that ultimately served you? Journal about that experience now
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