Setting and Maintaining Boundaries Around the Holidays

November marks the start to the holiday season; a time of gratitude, family and traditions. We all know that family, while we love them, can sometimes demand a lot from us. All that togetherness can take an emotional toll,  which is why it is especially important to set proper boundaries come the holidays. With these tips, you'll forget why you even came to dread this time of year in the first place and you'll gain a better appreciation for the time you do have together. 

1. Set a time limit for phone conversations; your time is valuable, and you don't need an excuse when you're ready to hang up.

I received this suggestion from a networking event I attended a few weeks ago, and I think it is such a good rule to go by. The woman said "if I'm spending more than 30 minutes on the phone, you better believe the other person is paying for my time." This may come across as harsh, but it's very true, and I find myself feeling drained with conversations any longer than 45 minutes. Continuing to talk past this threshold can give life to resentment, so make a concerted effort to be conscious of how much time you are willingly giving away. 

2. You aren't obligated to answer the phone just because someone calls you.

I don't answer phone calls in the morning before 8:30am. Before that, it is my time I have designated to get my mindset right to approach the day. In the mornings I workout, meditate, and spend 30 minutes working on writing my book. Even still, if I don't feel like answering the phone, I'm not going to, plain and simple. 

3. You can and should say no if you want to. 

Last year my life was in a state of total flux and I truthfully just wanted to be alone. I binge watched Girl Boss in its entirety and it was fine; I Facetimed with my family and while yes, the idea of spending Thanksgiving alone can seem rather lonely, it honestly wasn't even that bad. I find that things done out of obligation almost always end in disaster, so make sure whatever you end up deciding is what you want, not what someone else wants from you. 

I find that when you set these boundaries in your life, you are setting the stage; you are saying to the universe "this is what I can and will tolerate." I'm not suggesting you should be rude about it, but don't you think you're being rude to yourself by putting what others expect from you before your own desires? If the holidays are about relationships, then you need to make sure you're taking care of #1 aka your relationship with yourself. 

Be deliberate, be forthright, and be honest; it's ok to be selfish sometimes. 

xoxo, 

Allison