The Road to Italy Part I

My first domestic solo trip to Florida came and went.

My Reiki II certification started the week after I returned. With each level of Reiki, you receive an atunement, which is essentially a ceremony where the reiki energy is passed to you from a Reiki Master. Reiki energy is universal (in Japan, they don’t even have a word for it because everyone practices energy work) but the atunements open you up to it, making you more receptive and able to work with the energy to help assist others through healing.

When you get an atunment, this energy is hyperfocused, and it removes everything from your life that is no longer serving you. 

I received my Reiki II atunement right when I got back from my trip, and almost immediately my world changed.

Within that next week, my boss and best friend at work quit in ceremonious fashions, the boy I had been dating informed me he was moving, my cats’ fighting had reached a peak and I learned that my Grandma was dying.

(I was simultaneously getting my Breathwork level 1 certification, so these clearings may have been amplified… regardless, it was a lot.)

 A few weeks later, I went on a road trip with work from Las Vegas to San Luis Obisco. I was in a meeting in California, when a friend texted me out of the blue “Don’t forget your dreams and what you’re working towards.”

I texted her back about how I was only going to have 2 or 3 drinks at dinner.

Less than an hour later, I got a call letting me know that my Grandma had passed away. I immediately started to cry, reaching for support from a coworker, but quickly pulled myself together as if it were nothing. 

I touched the Pacific Ocean for the first time that day.

 I somehow ‘kept it together’ for the remainder of the trip. (Photo evidence you can't always tell what people are going through)

The next morning, I woke up in Vegas after a night of drinking feeling completely void. I had grown accustomed to waking up with anxiety, but this was different. I felt empty inside.

 When my petsitter texted me to let me know that one of my cats had pooped on my bed, I lost it. There was no more pretending I was ok.

All the tears I had subconsciously been holding back flooded out of me, and I howled on the floor of the Wynn hotel. My grandmother (who raised me during the primitive years) had died and I didn’t cry for 3 days. I was wearing old work clothes from a job I had quit 2 years earlier and I had makeup smudged around my eyes and hangxiety from the night before.

I was not ok.

 I cried, prayed and howled when my grandmother's voice came to me.

“You can’t have both.”

 She continued: 

“You can’t have the partying and the drinking if you want to reach your full potential.”

 I decided right then and there I was committed to changing my life. 

Road to Italy part II coming soon!

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xoxo,